Image by Karol

Next we visit Tramway Pub 57, a small roadside oasis in Shawinigan, QC, just outside Drummondville, where, by the way, you will find another poutine shack, Le Roy Jucep, which claims to be “Plus que l’inventeur de la poutine” (more than the inventor of poutine).  Why didn’t I visit Le Roy Jucep? Well, it’s simple: I didn’t know about it until now.

But no matter; the poutine at Tamway Pub 57 was, hands down, the most delightful poutine I’ve had yet on this tour. Super-fresh curds and beautiful golden fries nestled in a swamp of delicious home-style wayside gravy. Thankfully I ordered a mini; had I ordered a larger size, I wouldn’t have been able to eat fast enough to avoid having the fries turn mushy.

Also of note: at Tramway Pub 57 you’ll find an outdoor showcase of classic cars (including a replica General Lee); there’s an icecream stand next door; and it’s a great place to play a prank on your tourmates.

Andrzej fell asleep in the shady side of the patio, and the ladies at Tramway totally helped us pull a prank on him. We left him a note explaining that we decided to vote him off the tour, packed up in the van and hid the van behind a building nextdoor and waited for him to awaken, all the while video-taping him from afar. The tramway ladies claimed that they didn’t see us leave.

Hail Tramway Pub 57. Oh and… hail Satan.

- crewleader Ringer

Image by Karol

So I finally hit rock-bottom. I had poutine for breakfast. Some of my tourmates are concerned for my health. They think I should stop this gravy-laden debauchery…but I can’t; I’m hooked.

We met a guy (Belair) in Victoriaville who let us camp out in his backyard, where we cooked food over a steel drum fire and went nuts in the dark. The next morning, over dry cereal in the van, we asked him where to find the best poutine in Victoriaville. “The fucking goodest poutine,” he said, “is at the Cantine Chez Annie.” “It’s the fucking goodest, cheapest poutine!” So, with a quick, heartfelt goodbye, we packed up camp and set out for yet another sloppy poutine experience. We found the place in no time. It’s a little snack-shack on 27 Bd Arthabaska E. Cantine Annie’s is air-conditioned, service is tres friendly – and they have red and blue slush puppies.

I ordered a mini poutine. It cost me 6 bux and change. I should have ordered the baby poutine cuz, as is often the case in these parts of the poutine universe, a mini is enough to feed two people my size. At least I had leftovers (which I scarfed down in the van three hours later once we hit Quebec City). Anyway, I was a bit disappointed by this one. Though the curds were really fresh and abundant, the gravy and fries were poor. Really, I couldn’t taste the gravy because the fries, though perfectly crispy, tasted like three-week-old fryer grease. Overall, this was one of my least favourite poutines. To be fair, though – considering it was the first thing I consumed that day – less than two hours after waking up – and I washed it down with a Slush Puppie and a can of Pepsi – well, I must admit: my judgement may have been a bit impaired.

- posted crewleader Ringer

Pic by Karol

Seguin Patate. Pic by Karol.

My pursuit for exceptional poutine continues in Ontario’s easternmost city, Cornwall.  Located on the St. Lawrence River, Quebec City-Windsor Corridor and Highway 401, this is the mythical poutine paradise of my childhood.  Surely if there ’s a decent poutine in Ontario, it’s here.

After we set up camp in the lush backyard of my family house (I spent much of my youth here), snug in one of the quietest corners of the city, the sun the hue of a perfectly fried golden potato, we all strolled over to Seguin Patate – one of Cornwall’s most popular spots for chips (and poutine). I used to love the poutine here.  Sadly this time around was disappointing. The gravy was obviously reconstituted from powder-form, the fries a bit soggy, but the curds were ample and fresh.

A medium-sized poutine ran me about $6 with a pop. Overall, the poutine here is not bad – great for hungry travelers on the move. The menu is varied: breaded shrooms, grilled-veggie sandwich (which they wrongly call a veggie burger), burgers, dogs, etc.

Seguin’s is located at 921 Marlborough St N, about five minutes off the 401 McConnell turnoff. There’s a picnic table and out-of-the-way kind of quiet vibe to it.

Louis' small poutine. Pic by Alex.

Louis Pizzeria. Photo by Alex.

… I got my second poutine at Louis’ Pizzeria, down in Cornwall’s Lower East Side (AKA French Harlem).  Unfortunately the experience was a big let down, but I’m glad it happened.  I’ve been bragging about Louis’ poutine for a very long time – and now I know that I was misleading people.  First of all, Louis doesn’t use curds.  So it’s not even poutine; it’s cheese fries with gravy.  But their gravy can be more suitably described as a tomato sauce.  It has a nice spicy-ness to it, uh, but it’s way too salty.  The portion is monstrous.  A small can easily feed two people. It’s $6.

-posted by crewleader Ringer

Byward Market, Ottawa. Image by Karol.

Image by Karol.

Image by Karol.

The Lemonaid Truck v. 2.0 is part of a series of silly modular foot-powered vehicles that I’ve been building since 2004. It’s made of found wood and rubber wheels, insulation foam, velcro and paper, and easily collapses to fit snug atop our tour van. Built for one small to medium-sized person, and equipped with a sun roof and housing for lemonade supplies, it’s basically a push-cart type of thing; you get inside, grab the handles, check your blind spots – and away you go.

Not only is it a great promotional tool for our project, it’s a wonderful way to explore and deregulate everyday life, meet people and bring a little much needed hilarity to the streets.

On that note, the public reception of the project is extremely positive, for the most part.  It incites a lot of laughter and generates enthusiastic participation, though some people are resistant and pretend it doesn’t exist.  One person in Ottawa was stone-cold serious as I rolled by her. When I looked back, she was laughing, but quickly reverted to serious face soon as she saw I caught her laughing.  Strange.

Anyway, most people have been very kind and love the concept.  They’re hugely impressed that someone would even make such a thing and take out in public.  One person said that I’d made her day, that she was in a miserable mood before the Lemonaid Truck showed up.  I’d say that deserves a big Mission Accomplished!

Look out for future Lemonaid Truck appearances.

- posted by crewleader Ringer

Pic by Karol

Fries.  Cheese curds.  Gravy.  Together these ingredients make up one of Canada’s finest culinary experiences: poutine.  One of my personal artistic missions on this tour is a quest for the best poutine Eastern Canada has to offer. As a loyal poutine fan (a connoisseur, if you will), domestic chef, food blogger and performance artist whose work often involves food and drink, I’m thrilled to be undertaking this culinary journey.

Poutine, to many an unadventurous eater, may seem wrong, like something that shouldn’t be eaten by humans, but it’s not.  It’s bloody delicious – and a classic Canadian food-staple. Poutine, so it’s said, was invented in the 50s somewhere in Quebec.  Of course, there are many versions of the story of its origin, many of which involve some French-Canadian guy at a chip stand ordering a bag of cheese curds and accidentally getting them on top of fries.

To be sure: a good poutine should have crispy-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside fries, a generous heap of squeaky-fresh cheese curds and, ideally, a rich secret-recipe-style brown chicken gravy. There are many variations of poutine, some containing peas and meat and pretty much any food ingredients you can imagine. But don’t be fooled: the best poutine is the classic; all the rest are by default something else entirely – bastards of the original.

My first tour poutine was at the Norwood Skillet, in Norwood, ON.  I knew the poutine would suck the minute I walked into the joint; there were at least three tables of half-eaten plates of food, it took forever for someone to take my order (even though the place wasn’t busy) and the confused-looking cook/dishwasher was 18-years-young or so. And boy was I right. The fires were limp, the gravy bland – and the cheese was a cheddar-mozzerella mix, not curds.

FYI: poutine sans curds is just cheese fries with gravy; always make sure you’re getting curds when ordering poutine.

- posted by crewleader Ringer

Rick helping out to construct the roof rack.

Into the early morning, Rick and I fabricated a roof rack, a simple skid-like system which clips on with four “u” clips.

Meanwhile the rest of the crew made ready the Portage Gallery and the Lemonaid Truck V.2.0.

Lisa Keophila, Alex Bowron, Ryan Ringer

The crate.

By 5pm Saturday August 1st we left Toronto eager to make the tour a meaningful journey filled with delightful creative excess.

We slammed into The Spill in Peterborough at 7pm, way late but happy that nothing flew off the roof rack. With one of the owners praise – “Elaborate setup, I love it.” the traveling art show of Hell inspired art via Portage Gallery, projections which reminded me of forgotten Egyptian gods, propaganda paintings, a Zine Library, Lemonaid Truck v. 2.o. and lighting with a Terror Clown finesse transformed The Spill into perfect grounds for a Satanic ritual. (all in one hour!)

At The Spill. Peterborough show

The Players (modified installation) & the Zine Library @ The Spill.

Projection installation by Aleks Bartosik

Portage Gallery setup @ The Spill

Patrick Walsh performed the Satanic ritual which gave us the proper aura to set out in our “flying canoe” with a huge orange box like thing strapped to its roof across eastern CANADA! The show was a slam, all the bands saturated the crowd with sounds of music. Making enough cash for gas we continued our journey towards the Enchanted Forest where we would rest before our next Tour stop at the AKA Autonomous Social Center in Kingston…

- crew member Andrzej T.

the Ritual

Rumsfeld performing at the Spill

Full Metal Booty

Garbageface @ the Spill